Lois Zsarnay
LMFT, BCPC, RD
Articles in "counseling"

Practicing Relationship Communication Skills Improves Understanding

by Lois Zsarnay, LMFT, BCPC, RD

Effectively communicating with another person takes lots of practice as well as a commitment to working at it over your life time until there is a better understanding that leads to a mutually respectful relationship.

Couples Counseling about How We Choose to Respond – Part 4

by Lois Zsarnay, LMFT, BCPC, RD

During marriage counseling sessions we work on the communication skills to be able to consciously respond to their partner’s messages rather than being reactive or impulsive which can add to a feeling of being out of control. It is the typical statement we often hear that “he/she MADE me angry” (or upset or hurt or mad, etc.). If you want to take back your power so no one can MAKE YOU FEEL a certain way, then this is a critical skill to practice!

Diabulimia, the Eating Disorder You've Never Heard Of

by Lois Zsarnay, LMFT, BCPC, RD

Check out this excellent article on Diabulimia, the Eating Disorder You've Never Heard Of at http://www.thefix.com/content/what-diabulimia

Couples marriage or relationship counseling with Ventura Therapist Lois Zsarnay, LMFT, BCPC, RD

by Lois Zsarnay, LMFT, BCPC, RD

One of my favorite types of clients to work with is couples so I thought I would blog on some of the common struggles I often see in couple’s sessions at my therapy office in Ventura. Relationships of any kind are complex and constantly changing. Our relationship with our “Significant Other” or spouse is often one of the most challenging. Whether a couple is married or living together or dating, the relationship goes through normal phases of change as well as each person in the relationship is growing and changing over the months or years of the relationship. In an ideal world, everyone who is considering being in a serious relationship would come in for some foundation counseling to explore what each person’s expectations are and how they communicate their needs or wants to each other. There are some common areas where conflicts and discord often develop so the first in this series will be exploring the expectations part.

Is it Perfectionism or People Pleasing Behavior or Anxiety or Is It Really a Coping Mechanism?

by Lois Zsarnay, LMFT, BCPC, RD

People often come in with a pattern of thinking and viewing their world that creates problems for them in their life and in their relationships. When we think we need to be perfect or do everything right or make everyone happy, then we will naturally feel pressure to perform at an unrealistic level which then creates an anxious feeling and fear of not being able to live up to those unrealistic expectations we have put upon ourselves.

Family relationship conflicts, unrealistic expectations or the family we choose with radical acceptance

by Lois Zsarnay, LMFT, BCPC, RD

I often have clients who come in for counseling because they are having conflicts or relationship issues with their family members. Sometimes they say, "I just don't have anyone else but they're not there for me either!" I reflect to them that they can choose how they define "family." Who would they choose to be "family" if they could choose?