Lois Zsarnay
LMFT, BCPC, RD
Articles in "relationship"

Parents Need to Teach Resiliency and Distress Tolerance in Children

by Lois Zsarnay, LMFT, BCPC, RD

Children who grow up to be “successful” in life learned resiliency and distress tolerance, especially if they were born with sensitive temperaments.

When Eating Has Become a Coping Mechanism That Runs Our Life.

by Lois Zsarnay, LMFT, BCPC, RD

Once a coping mechanism starts running our life we need to prepare for change before we can make lasting change. Or we can do another temporary diet…

Normal Eating is Intuitively Listening to Our Body’s Hunger Cues

by Lois Zsarnay, LMFT, BCPC, RD

When we were born we ate when we were hungry and we stopped eating when we were satisfied. Simple, straightforward, no questioning ourselves!

Practicing Relationship Communication Skills Improves Understanding

by Lois Zsarnay, LMFT, BCPC, RD

Effectively communicating with another person takes lots of practice as well as a commitment to working at it over your life time until there is a better understanding that leads to a mutually respectful relationship.

Couples Counseling about How We Choose to Respond – Part 4

by Lois Zsarnay, LMFT, BCPC, RD

During marriage counseling sessions we work on the communication skills to be able to consciously respond to their partner’s messages rather than being reactive or impulsive which can add to a feeling of being out of control. It is the typical statement we often hear that “he/she MADE me angry” (or upset or hurt or mad, etc.). If you want to take back your power so no one can MAKE YOU FEEL a certain way, then this is a critical skill to practice!

Ventura Marriage Counseling, Communication Skills, Intention to Understand

by Lois Zsarnay, LMFT, BCPC, RD

Part 1 is realistic expectations of ourselves and others. Part 2 starts with the INTENTION to communicate my needs and wants in a way my partner can truly hear and understand as well as my intention to really try to hear and understand what my partner is communicating to me. It is like visiting another country where they don't speak our language - both people have to make the EFFORT to try to communicate and meet the other person part way, otherwise the message will probably get lost or misunderstood!

Couples marriage or relationship counseling with Ventura Therapist Lois Zsarnay, LMFT, BCPC, RD

by Lois Zsarnay, LMFT, BCPC, RD

One of my favorite types of clients to work with is couples so I thought I would blog on some of the common struggles I often see in couple’s sessions at my therapy office in Ventura. Relationships of any kind are complex and constantly changing. Our relationship with our “Significant Other” or spouse is often one of the most challenging. Whether a couple is married or living together or dating, the relationship goes through normal phases of change as well as each person in the relationship is growing and changing over the months or years of the relationship. In an ideal world, everyone who is considering being in a serious relationship would come in for some foundation counseling to explore what each person’s expectations are and how they communicate their needs or wants to each other. There are some common areas where conflicts and discord often develop so the first in this series will be exploring the expectations part.

Family relationship conflicts, unrealistic expectations or the family we choose with radical acceptance

by Lois Zsarnay, LMFT, BCPC, RD

I often have clients who come in for counseling because they are having conflicts or relationship issues with their family members. Sometimes they say, "I just don't have anyone else but they're not there for me either!" I reflect to them that they can choose how they define "family." Who would they choose to be "family" if they could choose?