When my husband and my 25th wedding anniversary was approaching I happened to find this fun little book at the Hallmark store called Married for Life, Inspirations from those married 50 years or more. It is filled with great pearls of wisdom that are fun to read. The first one sums up most of the book: “You only get out of a marriage what you put into it.” That holds true for all relationships. If I am not putting effort into it, if I am being negative or difficult, then that is exactly what I will get back! So when we want our relationship (with our spouse, partner, significant other, child or anyone else) to be a healthy, considerate, respectful, loving, committed relationship, then that is what we need to put into it! One of the great pearls of wisdom I learned from my husband of 31 years is, “Ask yourself before you decide what to say or do, how important is it to you to maintain a relationship with this person?” The more important it is, the more effort, time, attention, thought and consideration we need to put into how we choose to respond to them. That is what makes a long term, loving relationship work!
Putting the Pieces Together (So We Make Sense of Ourselves, Others and Our World)
Lois Zsarnay, LMFT, BCPC, RD
Couples's Therapy Ventura, California
©2014 Lois Zsarnay, LMFT, BCPC, RD